I am finding with our Lord that he comes in a way that is easy to reject. When I was a little boy my Dad bought me a guitar. I remember I took lessons forever, and had wanted a guitar just as long. I remember my Dad being so excited to show me my new guitar, and of course it was a surprise. As I walked into my room from playing there it was. This is the horrible part of the story. It wasn’t the guitar I wanted.

I didn’t like it at all. It wasn’t the color I wanted, the size and shape, it wasn’t the brand. Not one thing about it did I like. I remember my face gave it away. How bad I must have hurt my Dad. I recently  realized that is what we do with our Lord.

When he gives us a gift of himself we too often then not reject it. Wether it be suffering, joy, a desire of our heart but not the way we thought it should look. It’s never the way we seem to want it. Well this might be the case for only me, but I wine, kick, complain, scream because it wasn’t what I thought I should get.

This is who he is saints. A gift, whether it be in a form of a desire, or if he never gives us a desire of our hearts this is our Lord. He gives gifts that are perfect. Longsuffering is perfect when it comes from him. When I recently realized this I realized how much I hurt my Lord when I reject his gifts he gives me just like I hurt my Dad that day. May we be a people who are just thankful to be receiving a gift.


I was having a talk with a co-worker today, and I stumbled upon Christ. I was telling her how I was so excited to put more money into my savings for the last couple of weeks, and after doing it today the excitement left immediately. I was telling her how I had a similar experience with getting a flat screen T.V. She followed that by how she is always so excited to go on vacation then after getting back she is very disappointed.

I quoted Proverbs 27:19 to her “Hell and destruction are never full, so a mans eyes are never satisfied.”

I realized what it meant that Christ is our riches, and rubies, and emerald, he is our treasure. I didn’t fully get it. Today I got a glimpse of what that means. Well for one Christ is infinite, never-ending, inexhaustible. He lasts forever, so we get excited about him in the same kind of way but it’s different.

See our Lord isn’t like a flat screen, savings account, vacation, he is forever. He lasts always, he is not a goal but an ongoing vision. I picture a river that never ends. Truly his steadfast love never ceases. Though I will still get excited about my goals when it comes to natural things. I am learning to be like Paul whether in want or having plenty Christ is my contentment. He is my all in all.


It is impossible to deny my Lord, Though I have before over and over again,

When it comes down to it, black and white I must retreat to my friend

He comes close but, oh so am I resistant

Closer than a brother seemed so good at the time, now resistant

Hate, anger, frustration screaming voices, blood, swet, tears

Waterfall, rain, cleansing, a new state of mind, fears,

Shaking, scared all seems too much to bare,

Pointing the finger, left, right, no one cares,

Brokeness is a gift, so its been written

Kings, Queens, to the holy of holies smitten

I come naked, no more hiding, all barren and true

To you oh Lord, all of me to you…

Song of Solomon 8:6-8 “Love is Fire, and jealousy endures to the grave. That no water can quench, and no river can drowned out. If a man were to give all he has for love it would be utterly despised.”

When looking at the parable of the sower in Mathew 13 you find some interesting things going on. We have things in us still that the world and the church put on you that were never intended to be there.

 MATHEW 13: 24 Another parable He put forth to them, saying: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field; 25 but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way. 26 But when the grain had sprouted and produced a crop, then the tares also appeared. 27 So the servants of the owner came and said to him, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?’ 28 He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The servants said to him, ‘Do you want us then to go and gather them up?’ 29 But he said, ‘No, lest while you gather up the tares you also uproot the wheat with them. 30 Let both grow together until the harvest, and at the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, “First gather together the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my barn.”’”

The weeds are the things that were never supposed to be there. This however does not delay the Lord in implanting his life inside of us (seed). As we grow in him the weeds (sins, addictions, etc..) these things have to manifest eventually. If we are to go on with the Lord we have to allow him to deal with these things for a period of time which is never comfortable.

We cannot hide our issues they have to rip the soil of our hearts, and grow into a weed. However, the Lord separates the weeds from the wheat (his life) to be burned never to return again. This relates to the vine that doesn’t produce fruit he prunes.

This cannot be accomplished however by our own efforts. Hints Song of Solomon 8:8 If a man were to give all he has for love it would be utterly despised. We cannot deal with the weeds ourselves. Not by our strength, religion, or self-righteousness. This work can only be done by the Lord’s life inside of us.

So rest assured as we let go and abide in the vine HE will prune all those branches that don’t bear fruit. HE will take away those deep dark things we think are impossible to be delivered from. He will have a bride spotless, so that only his life remains.

For his love is a fire, and his jealousy endures to the grave.

When you look at this word what is the first definition that comes to mind? Marriage is hopefully the answer. Do we as the bride of Christ really know what it means to be married to the Lord? Do we really know how passionate his love is.

Song of Solomon 8:6-8 “Love if Fire, Jealousy enduring to the grave, that no water can quench, and no river can drowned out.

We will always be growing in the revelation of the love of Christ, but the glimpses we get are remarkable.

In Hosea he is called to marry a prostitute; which he obeys and buys her to be his own. It is a beautiful picture of Israel (us) and the Bridegroom (Christ). You can see how hard it would be to see the beauty of someone who has slept with several other lovers. Then you have to buy her to be yours. It isn’t the typical romantic love movie you find in movies.

Hosea declares he will hedge her in with thorns all around, she will try to find other lovers but will not find them, then she will try to overtake other lovers, but she will not overtake them, then she will return to him for better off with him is she then now (Hosea 2:6-7). Stunning really his relentless love for his Bride.

She ends up being unfaithful, but the best part is what he says before it happens. 19 I will betroth you to me forever;
   I will betroth you in[e] righteousness and justice,
   in[f] love and compassion.
20 I will betroth you in[g] faithfulness,
   and you will acknowledge the LORD.

By his faithfulness she will know her husband, and will be overcome by only his faithfulness. Like Hosea’s Bride the Lord Betroth’s us by his faithfulness, and every time he’s faithful we know him more and more. From glory to glory.


Jesus said that he can nothing apart from the Father. He also said in John 15:5 that we can do nothing apart from him. How we tend to forget that all too often. I have found that in myself there is nothing good. I’m weak, and I’m broken for real.

I want to put my trust in so many things along with Christ. My ability to be responsible, to be a good salesmen, to always having a clean house, having good credit, playing basketball, being able to speak clearly, being able to share in a meeting with the saints. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being a good steward of what the Lord has given you, but when we put our trust in our abilities to do these things that’s where we mess up. It’s in Christ alone, we can do anything. See I’m not responsible, nor a good salesmen, nor a good basketball player, etc… those are qualities of Christ. I depend on him for everything. literally every breath, every movement, everything. If he doesn’t do it, it can’t be done.

The only thing that prevents us from living by his life for the most part in these things is our pride. He resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. I have a lot of pride, and when it gets hurt I get offended. When however, I realize I can do nothing and the humility of our Lord kicks in that’s when life comes, grace, understanding. We want to help the Lord, but trust me he’s really good at what he does. I have no ability but Christ in me.

I hit a hard reality the other day. I was complaining to the Lord about something I have been wanting and not getting. This wasn’t the first time, and it hit me like a heavy weight punch in the 12th round, I’m selfish.

I was making everything about me. My future cares, work, school, relationships, etc… I was consumed with what the Lord could do for me. I read in ‘Normal Christian Life’ by Watchmen Nee that we can easily make it about the gifts instead of the giver, or the work instead of the worker. That’s exactly what I was doing.

My desire if for Jesus Christ and too often the thing that gets in the way, and to my opinion the thing that can ruin him growing in me, is ME. Whether it’s self pity which can cause bitterness and is truly a sin, or me wanting wanting wanting all the time and never turning to Christ. Don’t get me wrong we can ask for things our Lord loves blessing us, but when it’s not under him being all in all in our lives usually its under selfish ambition (James 4:15).

It’s a good thing to know it’s not about me. He alone is my source of Life!

The Lord will always show you where he is taking you then you have to walk through it. In proverbs it says that people without a vision (paraphrased) give off restraint. So what is our vision, of course Jesus Christ, but he’s  in all things. He will give you a vision of part of him,sometimes even a desire then he will take you on a journey.

It’s not easy though. We want to kick and scream the whole ride home. Why can’t I have this already, why can’t I be there right now. The other day I heard this 8 year old at a college talking with his mother. He found out it was a college and got super excited. He said, “Wow Mom I wish I was eighteen then I would be going to college”. We like the 8 year old all wish we were all grown up in Jesus Christ, but that’s just not the way it works.

There are  many seasons of visions. Whether it be him healing our insecurities, dealing with a sickness and not seeing the other side, wanting a job we don’t have yet, etc… For instance say you lack confidence, and the Lord shows you how he’s teaching you confidence by his life. He gives you that vision but you have to trust it. Like Peter in the water we can focus on the storm, or we can do a greater thing, and that is to turn to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Saints, we have to trust our Lord. He truly is faithful every time. Let it be an adventure, a mystery, and leave it at that. While we are going through the process you have to look at the vision because that is where he is taking you. You have to trust the vision if you will. Like the little kid it doesn’t mean we don’t have to be excited about it, but let us enjoy him along the trip to being consumed in the vision of Jesus Christ.

-Blessed are you for you see what many wish to see (paraphrased).

So I recently went to New York City to celebrate my birthday. I had such a great time. My brother and I were so excited we took a 6:15 flight. We had two-hour drive to the airport, then a two-hour flight, had to take an air train, and a subway to finally reach our destination. Obviously it was a long trip, but I found something interesting. Because my brother and I didn’t know where our final destination was, and didn’t really know where we were going ( exact place) the trip went by really fast.

I’m from Colorado originally, and I know exactly where I’m going from the airport, how long it takes to get there, the roads I’m taking. So needless to say I found it incredible this whole walk by faith life we live by abiding in Christ. To be honest with you I never know where he is taking me, I don’t know how long it will take, nor the roads, all I truly know is him. But it will go by fast and I will enjoy every moment of it. If I knew everything that lied ahead it would make the trip tedious to say the least, and it would go by so much slower.

I found myself less talkative on this trip than I usually am because I was taking all the new experiences in. Like Christ. He is inexhaustible, he is so deep, and wide, and high, and long. I’m glad I don’t know where I’m going, nor how long it will take to get there because I enjoy being excited for what he will show me next of himself. Though in a sense I do know where I’m going, (Deeper into Christ-New York) I don’t know how to get there, nor how long it will take, but I’m glad we walk by faith and not by sight.

So I do not have the privilege of being married yet, but the Lord has formed a brotherhood relationship between me and my roommate that is very much like that of Jonathan and David. We have went through many peaks and valleys throughout the year. Our relationship has been tested by fire so that only Jesus Christ remains.

We have had to deny ourselves like a marriage. To our living situation; what we watch, cleaning preferences, waking up at a certain time etc… Let me tell you this though brothers and sisters. Jesus Christ has been formed in us, and we truly have become one. I am currently having to make a very big decision in life right now, and it blessed me that I have to think about how my decision would affect him.

Recently I had anger towards him for really no reason(minor things). Though the practical teaching in the bible of not letting the sun go down with an offense, so our adversary can’t have any room I ignored it. I let it build up for several days. It affected him as well.I hardened my heart towards him. I read the scripture in James yesterday about confessing your sins to one another so that you may be healed. Little did I know I had created murder in my heart towards my Jonathan if you will.

I came clean yesterday. Being honest about every single detail because it brings it to light so that our adversary cannot have any leeway. Brothers and sisters after we talked it out, and prayed (very practical instruction from brother James) I instantly was healed. I felt the Love of Jesus Christ touching my heart and setting me free.

So I encourage everyone if you have something Like the Lord talked about in the sermon on the mount address it right away. When you do there is healing in return, Amen.

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