I hit a hard reality the other day. I was complaining to the Lord about something I have been wanting and not getting. This wasn’t the first time, and it hit me like a heavy weight punch in the 12th round, I’m selfish.

I was making everything about me. My future cares, work, school, relationships, etc… I was consumed with what the Lord could do for me. I read in ‘Normal Christian Life’ by Watchmen Nee that we can easily make it about the gifts instead of the giver, or the work instead of the worker. That’s exactly what I was doing.

My desire if for Jesus Christ and too often the thing that gets in the way, and to my opinion the thing that can ruin him growing in me, is ME. Whether it’s self pity which can cause bitterness and is truly a sin, or me wanting wanting wanting all the time and never turning to Christ. Don’t get me wrong we can ask for things our Lord loves blessing us, but when it’s not under him being all in all in our lives usually its under selfish ambition (James 4:15).

It’s a good thing to know it’s not about me. He alone is my source of Life!

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