I finally came to a decision that I’m done changing. Here me out. I realized that I can’t do it anymore the whole partaking of the knowledge of good and evil. Having a standard or a bar to reach but always coming up short, and I belive that’s the point. There is nothing good in me. If I look back I realize how sad it was when I tried to be this holy roller that didn’t sin. What a unending task. I tried and I tried but couldn’t never make it. Something about that when you finally realize that apart from Christ you can do nothing when you finally have exhausted all other options. When you have ran and ran and can’t run anymore. That’s when the Lord can work with you. See he said over and over again in the word to just abide in him. Not in strife, not by works, not in false humility, not in man made realigion, but to just abide in Him. For his yoke is easy and his burden is light. I don’t believe the cross is to be looked at as this terendous thing that is going to taste bad, nor is it something to get all frustrated about or consumed with, but simply just to rest in Jesus. Rest is the key word. It says in Duet 33:12 that we rest securely between his shoulders” so why then on our own efforts do we try to muster up anything to become better, but when we finally let go Christ is revieled. We can rest securely in knowing he does the best job and that he will get rid of the the things that the world tries to teach us, or put on us. That’s the beautiful part about it he loves us and nothing we can do will ever add to that.